Monday

ubat hati

assalamualaikum.
ubat hati bukan menangis. bukan meratap pilu. bkn menyesal. bukan sebar2kan. bukan makin mengutuk. bukan membenci. bukan mengaibkan. bukan bukan bukan. peringatan utk diri sendiri. oh faeizen, u hv many problem.but u must remember, no matter how stressful ur problemS u got, u still have Allah to help u go through this way.

oh Allah, i hope she will back to me in a good condition, in a healthy condition, with a bright smile, i want to hug her as much as i can...i really miss her...oh Allah, i really hope i can get along with them once again, give them ur Nurr and give us happiness for the sake of my parents, i love them so much, oh Allah, give me happy memory from now on, and help me to change my bad attitude, if people cant accept me anymore, please dont leave me. i only have U in this world...with U, i never feel alone, never feel like i hv no parents i this world. but sometimes i did. i felt like i want to find my parents body right now n tell them all my problems n ask them what should i do! i feel lost. but i know, i must be strong. i will move on and I will forget all the past that just only hurt my  heart so much. i try do be the best, but if i still couldnt make everybody satisfy, i am sorry. there's a limit . just be positive after this. if not, it will affect myself sooo much like before this.....i am going crazy with myself. crazy with all my problem. nobody understand. but, once I 'talk' to YOU, everything is settled. Alhamdulillah, U gave me that strength that I want. I just dont want people know how hard my problem is. let Allah decide which way should I go...i wont let my emotion control me anymore. I really hope i can see the smile in our ****** again...I really miss them..I really hope I can see her face again. really hope that DISEASE never happen. i want to make sure its just a dream. JUST A DREAM ! almost 4 years i let this inside and wont let people know...ahh..nevermind...no one will read this...now, I just hope she will come..so, to anyone else, please dont add more pain. enough is enough. i know i am bad. just do what u like. and i hurt so many people include my fmly. so, who care?  let me fix everything with Allah as my guidance. I just dissapointed for many things. why she cant be found?? why??? is it done with purpose??? what should i do..my age now is 22!!! but, i do nothing for her! oh my bad again! so, i hope, people will understand n i wanna apologize for all my bad. i really hope i can forget everything but i cant. maybe Allah allow me to remember all those HURT memory not because wanna me get sick n very very very headache, but i believe, maybe something better left in that memory. let Allah decide everything...inshaAllah...

i miss all people who going far from me....but what should i do,,,,i have to...juz to get things better..
oh Allah, make me strong...i really really miss them...i promise to let them happy after this. Mak ayah will not happy if they see this kind of thing....I hope, YOU can let my parents know that i really love them....hope they are safe in your place there...please take care of them bcos they really take care of me since i was born....





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